Stories for slampieces

Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Year's Eve

Seeing that it is the only day that it is appropriate to wear a full on sparkle outfit, New Year’s Eve is certainly a great night for any sorostitute. However, I have personally made some NYE mistakes that I certainly do NOT want anyone else to make. I mean, let’s be honest, give us a sequins mini dress, a bottle of bubbly, and night where makeouts and blowing those noisy things until you nearly pass out is socially acceptable and we have a disaster on our hands.

One year, I was so desperate to kiss with someone at midnight that I spent the whole night scoping the parties and bars I was at. I did not pay attention to my drink intake and as a result ending up not remembering the countdown!! I ended up being attacked with tongue by some random guy against my will. Ewww. Upon getting home, a friend of a friend couldn’t keep her shiz together so I became the hair holder while she prayed to the porcelain Jesus. Overall, it was a really and successful fun night on sorostitute terms ;)

We must be mindful to not blackout this NYE. I am making a pledge to myself to keep it classy. Only one bottle of champagne must be consumed per girl. NO RANDOM MAKEOUTS. And it goes without saying


What are your NYE resolutions? What are your stories? Comment below!!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Gotta Love the Holidays

So, with family Christmas parties right around the corner, we all must address the elephant in the room. Now, I normally don’t do such things seeing that I try to be genuinely nice to everyone (lies) and that I have more Christmas spirit than Slampiece herself (lies again), but, nonetheless, it needs to be taken care of. Yes, I am talking about the WORST part of the holidays— dealing with the GDI cousins.

Let’s set the stage shall we? You walk in and ugly Christmas sweaters abound the room. Grandmother dearest is sipping scotch on the rocks in the corner chair, complaining about something per usual. You turn to the left and cousin Ashley is stuffing her face with spinach dip. Is she preggers again? Is she even married? Some fatty walks by completely unrecognizable. Must be cousin Scott’s newest knocked-up slampiece. Has anyone here heard of Plan B?!? Avoid creepy uncle avoid creepy uncle avoid oh heyyyy dip into the bathroom.

Okay, so you’ve escaped to the bathroom and your hair looks great. You know right when you walk out that wanna-be-queen-bee herself cousin Becky will ask you all about going Greek and not so casually mention how she is soooo excited to go to the same school as you next year. (She’s already been put on the “list.”) Overall, everyone is acting idiotically and you are neither tipsy enough nor patient enough to deal with it. You retreat to the corner and bbm.

You and I alike still don’t understand why grandma thinks they are so wonderful. “They” being the geed cousins. Regardless, I have a few pointers to ensure you keep your calm and class while dealing with those pesky cousins:

1. - Don’t act like you’re better than them. It will just piss them off more.

2. - Try not to wear you absolute newest jewels and certainly nothing they envy. Look significantly better than them, but make it effortless.

3. - No need to talk about your sorority. They won’t understand and it just gives them more material to talk shiz about you behind your back. If the youngins want to rush, give them the general advice “be yourself” “

4. - Only bring up your boyfriend/slampiece/fratslam/crush if they bring up the opposite sex first. You don’t want to sound like you’re a braggin liar when you pull out the “Oh, Preston is a fourth generation mogul living in his fraternity house this year. He has a 3.70, does community service on the reg, and gave me a Yurman bracelet for Christmas.” You see what I mean?

5. - When all else fails, hit the booze hard.

I really don’t like Christmas time that much. The decorations give me anxiety because I hate knick-knacks and such. Not to mention too many temptations around sweet treats and tasty tid bits. But the cousins are frankly the worst. You and I can get through this. And if we can’t, there is always enough cognac to go around.

Marry Christmas babies,

Xoxo Tease

Letters Today, Leaders Tomorrow.

Lot's of GDI's/haters on the internet lately (they don't have anything better to do I guess).  

They will say that you are just a cookie cutter ho who wears the same outfit as your 200 sisters. What they don't realize is you have fun. A LOT more fun than then will ever have in college or the real world. They don't get that you know it's college, that's why you are having fun now. Because lord knows in a few years you will be happily married with a great job, an even better husband and some cute kids. And they will be single, living off their parents and working for you.  Know why? Here's why:
  • Over 800 campuses in the United States and Canada participate in GreekLife.
  • All but two US presidents since 1825 have been Greek
  • All but two US VP's since 1825 have been Greek
  • All of the Apollo 11 Astronauts were Greek
  • 85% of the Fortune 500 executives belong to a fraternity
  • Graduation rates for Greeks- 70%. GDI's- 50%
  • 1 st Female Senator was Greek 
  • 1 st Female Astronaut was Greek 
  • The Greek system is the largest network of volunteers in the US, with members donating over 10 million hours of volunteer service each year 


only 2% of the US population is Greek. 

So, while we have TFM, they have TGDIM and TCCM.
We have hundreds of "sisters" and "brothers" who will be our best friends for life. They have the their chemlab partner and fr year dorm mate. Going Greek is not for everyone, obvi, but if you know what's good for you and your future, you made it into a set of letters and you made it to this site. 

I wear nike shorts and take addy like a champ, I'll be the first to tweet about it. But I also get good grades and will go to graduate school. 

My sisters spend just as much time planning recruitment as studying for their tests (ok, more). We have Honors students, Engineers, Chemistry, Physics, English, Political Science, History, Education, Communications and Business Students. We have studied in many different countries. We have almost 100% involvement in other activities. We play intramural and club sports, we do ROTC, we have jobs. We joined a lifelong bond and stuck with it. 

If you're greek, raise your hand. If you're not....raise your standards.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Baking 102: Christmas Edition

So, I’ve been baking all day today. What else is there to do besides bake and shop for xmas presents at this point? I have a mani, pedi, and my shopping is done so I decided to spend over $100 buying baking stuff and set to work. I tweeted about it all day, and decided to share my favorites with you! MERRY CHRISTMAS

Slampiece’s “Hey, Sugar” Cookies
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 tablespoon milk
Powdered sugar, for rolling out dough
Preheat oven to 375 Degrees (farenheight, we live in America)
Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
Place butter and sugar in large bowl and mix for about a minute. I usually do it for an entire Katy Perry song, whatever works.
Add egg and milk and beat to combine. Put mixer on low speed, gradually add flour, and beat until mixture pulls away from the side of the bowl.
Divide the dough in half, wrap in waxed paper, and refrigerate for 2 hours.
After 2 hours, take out and roll out to ¼ in thick, then use cookie cutters and go CRAZY!
Slampiece’s Mother’s Royal Icing recipe
Every color of food coloring you can find
3 egg whites
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (real thing, honey, no imitations)
4 cups of Confectioner’s/Powdered sugar
Combine eggs and vanilla until frothy, and then slowly add confectioners sugar using a mixer on low speed. Mix on high for like 5 minutes (2 katy perry songs) until glossy. Separate and add desired coloring! TA DA.
Did some loser give you Starbucks VIA for xmas?
Make Slampiece’s Coffee Spice Cookies! Perfectly paired with cinnamon scones and a hangover!
2 teaspoons Starbucks VIA (1 package)           
1 teaspoon hot water
1/2 cup Butter Shortening
3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups Flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup chocolate decorator bits


Heat oven to 375.

Dissolve Instant coffee in hot water. It’s going to look like a weird brown mess. Beat shortening, brown sugar, egg, vanilla and coffee mixture in large bowl with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Mix in flour, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt.

Divide dough into two equal parts. Shape each half into a roll 7-inches long x 1 1/2-inches in diameter. Roll in chocolate decorator bits, pressing lightly. Wrap tightly. Refrigerate at least 2 hours.

Cut rolls into 1/4-inch slices. Place slices 1-inch apart on ungreased baking sheet.

Bake 6 to 8 minutes or until set. Cool on rack.
Have a great holiday, Sorostitutes! I'll try to make myself or another sissy post something before Christmas since we are all on break being hoodlums

xxox slammy

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Boots, Boys and Baking- Your questions (finally) answered!

We have all pretty much agreed over here at Sorostitute Stories that we are not going to do a bedroom post. Sorry ladies, but when I joined the chapter and went greek we didn’t have TFM or Sorostitute Stories to tell us what to do. My freshman year I was a mess trying to figure out who I was going to be in college. I can’t tell you how to please your Fratdaddy in the bedroom. I COULD, but I wont. It’s tacky. Relationships take work and are all different and special and blah blah blah. Basically, I’d tell you what to do and you’d do it and he’d freak out and then you all would post negative things. And the GDI’s would get on here and post about how we are all terrible people who are sluts, etc etc.

HOWEVER since I’m done with finals I think its HIGH TIME someone answered some of your more normal questions!

Q: I have a question that only older, more experience sorostitutes could answer. Is it ever acceptable to date a GDI? We are not talking a cargo wearing, tattoo sporting, Obama voting GDI. We are talking a wealthy, private school educated, Ralph Lauren wearing, Republican GDI. He's studying architecture and has applied for a job at my dad's firm. The only reason he's a GDI is because he's quiet and didn't want to have to deal with the social aspect of being a fratstar. I am thinking it's OK because he's successful and rich; plus my father approves. I am just concerned that all of my fellow sratty ladies will disown me or something. Opinions?
A: Depends on where you live, your age, etc. I don’t think I could ever marry a GDI, only because I just don’t think we would ever really understand each other. He would never understand that I spent college with puffpaint, natty, addy and letters while he was studying and….doing whatever it is that GDI’s do? And if you are a reader of this site, you are probably EXTREMELY sratty. You already use the term GDI’s, won’t that get old and hurt his feelings? If you live in the south and/or all your friends and family were/are greek, they might never accept him or agree with your choice. BUT do you really want to let them dictate everything you do for the rest of your life? If you are out of college and live somewhere where being greek is not a big deal starting the day after you graduate, why wouldn’t you go for it? I would never tell someone not to date the Ralph Lauren wearing, republican, quiet rich guy. But, the fact that you HAVE to ask tells me you aren’t in to him enough in the first place!

Q: i really like baking for my boy but i'm a lil worried about mine getting fat is that bad?
A: Caring about your health and appearance is never bad. I love baking, but my fratdaddy would never tolerate a fatty and neither would I. I love to bake and we both love to eat, so I worry sometimes about his waist… the best way to combat this is by going on ‘dates’ to the gym together! Some sratstars will tell you to use fat free butter spread or skim milk in your baked goods. THEY ARE WRONG. Using substandard ingredients make your baked goods terrible, the trick is to bake for your man and work it off! OR, have him share with his brother’s…then you win their hearts, too ;)

Q:  I'm studying to be an architect, which in short terms, makes having a social life near-impossible. The workload is so incredible that I cant attend socials or do anything leisurely late at night. (unless its saturday but there are no socials on weekends) Because of this, I havent met any guys out of my 1.5 years in college. I'm not really interested in a MRS, but I at least want to get to know some fraternity gentlemen so that I dont have to skip out of formal/semi-formal/date functions because I dont know anyone. Bottom line, is it possible to meet guys without having to go out late at night? It seems like the only way to meet people is to go out at night, but there has to be some other ways. Sorry for such a lengthy post, but I feel like you're really knowledgeable about these things! Thanks a ton and love the posts!
A: I know most of you think that we are all elementary ed majors and comm students who don’t have anything better to do than post on our blog, but as you can see from the lack of posts, this isn’t true. We have more than one science major, pre-med, pre-law, history, English, etc. We have homework, and papers, and tests to do. As much as I love to craft and drink and bake, I have to make choices. Usually good ones. If you can spare even ONE night out a week, do it wisely. One of the smartest girls I know is one of the most fun. Do you homework. Wake up early if you must, wake up at 7am, do your homework during your breaks (even though you’d rather be napping). Trade Saturday night for Thursday so you can  go to your social. It doesn’t matter what day you go out, if you wanna meet fratties or go to the best parties, pick and choose your battles, you can do it J

Q: Also I would love a small mention in a post about what being "lavaliered" as opposed to being "pinned" means. I know it means different things, obvi, but no one's been able to explain to me what exactly those differences are. And also as a girl who is going to be lavaliered soon, hopefully, do you wear them along with your sorority lavalier? Or do you replace it with his lavalier? Thanks! Axoxo
A: To be lavaliered is to indicate that you two are in a serious, committed relationship. This goes back to the days before it was “fb offish”… you are offish together, but you are not just a girlfriend. Usually/hopefully this leads to being engaged and then, in most sororities, you get a candle passing ceremony! You def wear your lavalier AND his together, and the difference between pinning and lavaliering is slight. You don’t have to be lavaliered, then pinned, then engaged but that’s how they used to do it. Lavaliered is committing to a serious relationship, pinning is saying to that girl that they are AS IMPORTANT AS HIS FRATERNITY. It is the step before engagement and it’s a BIG DEAL. Lavaliering, then pinning, then the Tiffany. Got it?

Q: I was just reading this while online shopping on Vineyard Vines and was wondering what your opinion was on the new VV tote, still acceptable in winter or no?
A: I like a longchamp in the winter but VV is great if it matches!

Q:blackberry or driod??
       A: I am not CNET or Consumer Reports or the guy at Sprint or my daddy, but I have a BBcurve and I adore BBMing with Tease.

Q: Also, what would you say the srattiest brands of cowboy boots are? Never having bought cowboy boots before, I feel like I have an idea of the style and look like I want, but I want to make the sure the brand is right too.
       A: you can never go wrong with Frye boots to be safe. Look for western stores that make their own boots or go to boutiques and find a vintage pair. DO NOT go to macy’s or a chain store, southern belle will be able to tell from a block away that you are a fake, just like your boots.

“I’ve been dating since I was 14, I’m exhausted, WHERE IS HE!?”

…. Probably right under your nose. Or right around the law library stacks.

I always believed in fairytale, princess, and love-at-first-sight. For most of college I was under the impression that if I didn’t walk into the frat party and see someone new and immediately fall in love that it wasn’t going to happen. I am the opposite of Tease, someone who slowly starts to like someone, all the while playing her hilarious (and effective) game. No, I tend to decide within minutes that I will date this SigChi, KA, DX, etc. Not to be uppity, but generally that’s what happened, too. They have gotten me in the strangest ways, too. A bonfide alchy offering a night in with my favorite movie started an interesting summer, wearing the same lacoste polo to a homecoming party started my 2-year-long “Mr. Big” saga, and there are quite a few drunken makeouts at tailgating that turned into boyfriends. All of whom I claimed love at first sight.
            Here we are, at senior year, right before the end of fall semester, and the reason you never got a 2nd ring by spring post (YET! WAIT FOR IT) is because I threw yet another fish back into the sea. I was really reaching this time, and only I failed to see it. When we broke up, my fellow bloggers at Sorostitute Stories said "Um, yeah we knew it wasn't going to work out, but we were going to let you figure it out." thanks guys. But they were right, I had let my judgement be clouded by my romanticism and my quest for the Tiffany's classic setting.
           So, for the umpteenth time over my time as a Sorostitute, I find myself feeling that if we have drank together at an ever changing cast of bars for the past 4 years, if I can name all your hookups this semester as well as your past positions held, or if we have sat in lectures (or skipped) for all of college, I can’t date you. It has to be that love-at-first-sight butterflies. And being a senior (I have to stop admitting my age, woof), that pretty much leaves Freshman, Sophomores and… GDI’s? None of these are acceptable, I never date “down” in age or rank and I haven’t dated a GDI since High School. I relegated myself to Law students and single-town until graduation, and slightly ok with it, at least in front of my sisters.
            Fast Forward a couple of weeks, finals, and a friend from home’s brother starts talking to me via the FB. I usually never let myself talk to boys online as it tends to lead to problems. (one huge exception is the boys at StatusBro and 412_Lax ...because I am waiting for the first to fly to *our city* and propose) But he wasn’t ‘a boy’, he was a family friend! Plus, older brother’s have only existed in my mind before now as ways to annoy your friends. “Can’t wait to marry your brother and be a smith! What a hottie”, etc. We had met when I was in seventh grade when we both had braces and before I discovered pearl studs! This was never love at first sight. He asked me on a date over Winter Break and I accepted, expecting not to hear from him until then.
            Literally days later, a twitter post about an opportunity for next year I am considering (never graduate, ladies) led to an alumni of my high school AND college offering to get drinks and talk about it, as long as I go on a date with him. (Disclaimer: alum of ‘09, not ’79) Then there is A, the boy whom I have everything and nothing in common with that likes to make me brunch, whom somehow hid from me for the entirety of college. Suddenly I had more than one suitor. None of them were begging me to be Mrs. Fratstar, but still. I realized that it doesn’t have to be love at first sight, and it doesn’t have to be a relationship right away, if ever. The ring won’t come by spring if you force it, and especially if you overlook those fratties you think you could never marry. Look behind the stacks in the law library, talk to the poor newly-initiated fratty behind the bar at the exchange, and run into everyone’s hot older brother over Christmas break because you never know who you might find.

I’ll keep you updated on Big Brother, A, and Alumni over break! X’s and O’s,


 I’m not going to date 3 people at once, don’t worry! (I wish I had no morals and could do this because that would make for a great blog series) Real slampieces have class, even if we don’t attend it.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

This post has no point. FINALS

Hello dearest readers,

Just wanted to give everyone much sorostitute luck on their finals this week and next!! (We know you'll do great with the test files at the house).

Also, just because this is incredibly awesome, one of our readers stumbled upon our site by googling:

"my current slampiece is the daughter of my dad's ex-slampiece"

That's all.

Love you lots,

Saturday, December 4, 2010

MRS Degree

Recently, we on the Sorostitute Stories have come under immense criticism and harsh fire for the posts and tweets about getting the coveted MRS degree. Naturally, we let such “haterz” roll off our backs, but the misconceptions and personal attacks are not only unnecessary, but also ignorant. The beauty of our blog, at least in my humble opinion, is that nobody knows if we are truly serious or sarcastically witty. We like to keep it that way.

On our team, we hold seven non-professional writers. Some are students- pre-laws, pre-health care professionals, future educators and nurses. We have girls in the working world making their own living and doing a fantastic job. So, you may be wondering what this MRS degree we keep talking about is.

What it is:

The intention to have a long-term relationship during college (particularly senior year) that (hopefully) ends in a proposal

The intentions of working independently or, ideally, alongside your husband until you shamelessly give up your career to raise children

Cooking, baking, and cleaning to perfection because you ENJOY it

Already picking out baby names with your friends so nobody can steal yours

Planning parties for your hubby’s work friends

Charity. Work.

Sewing, crafting, and having “homemade tricks and fix-its” for the kids

Being equally as proud of your husband as he is of you

What it is NOT:

Blowing off school and acting like a bimbo (Come on, what decent man wants to bring home and wife up a dumb girl with no education and life goals??)

Being a gold digger (puh lease!)

Being a housewife

Being lazy or wasting space


It’s no secret that when sorostitutes have set their mind to something, they will get it. And it is no secret that getting boys to date us and fall in love with us (and fall in love with them back) is part of our charm. Getting an MRS degree, however, is not at all a priority for girls like us. As a matter of fact, getting an MRS is proving harder than getting a degree in biology. Although all the cute pre-meds in the class don’t hurt ;)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Your Srattiest Photo Contest WINNER!

Hey y'all, great job with all the Sratty Photos! We are so blessed to have so many followers on Our Twitter and on the blog! We've been trying to update more but unfortunately every once in a while (read: the end of the semester) we need to do a little homework!

We got a lot of great submissions to the contest, and here are some of our favorites:
Emily and her freinds obviously took Slampiece's advice about Halloween Costumes!

They didn't include their name in their email, but these ladies know how to "study" with class- Diet Coke, Crystal Light, Koozies and Tervis Tumblers! Srat on!

Last, but certainly not least is our WINNER....

Kirsten sporting a Kate Spade iPhone case, baking and a homemade apron! A Sorostitute after our own hearts! However it wins the contest because it proves that she is the Sorostitute in our very favorite picture of all time!

She wins the ability to write a guest post for the Sorostitute Stories blog and some hand-crafted items from the Sorostitute Stories team!

xoxo until next time

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Teasing to Perfection

Recently, we sorostitutes have been under the immense pressure to get the ring by spring. And although this seems like the utmost of importance to Slampiece and SouthernBelle, some of us have a little more time on our hands for matters of men.
I am typing this on my Fratberry avoiding one of the most frightening of times- semiformal. Don't get me wrong, semiformal is a fun event, filled with booze, boys, and bars (everything we deny during recruitment). Alas, semiformal also involves dresses and dates, both of which are frightening...
I met this fratstar a few months back at the local bar. I was stumbling around per usual at 1:00 AM. It was almost bar close and BadHomance was making out with some guy against the pool table. Functional Alchie was of course smoozing fratties at the bar with her gorgeous eyes, perfectly blonde hair, and ability to take shots like they're water. Everything was going great, until HE started talking to me. Knowing his bad reputation on campus and avoiding ripping off his perfectly pressed Burberry button down, I naturally decided to tease him along and let him follow me and buy me drinks. Nothing happened and he went home with a bottom tier trashbag after chasing me out of the bar.
Recently, we have reconnected. I learned that the only chapter he doesn't have a souvenir from is mine. I'm clearly not stupid and fully realized that this fratty wants to bang me and steal a t-shirt with letters on it for his wall of fame. After tricking him in to asking me to my own semi-formal, the plan was made. Make this guy fall in love with me, call him my slampiece to give him some "security" and find out all the dirt on him that I can o I can break his little heart. As some would say "playas gettin' played."
Some followers have asked us to share our tips on flirting. I really can't do that all at once because, being the resident tease, I have accumulated many. However, it is imperative that you find out what type of guy he is. This particular fratstar, let's just call him Slammy from now on, is a go-getter. When he sees an opportunity, he grabs it. Therefore, you MUST PLAY THE GAME RIGHT BACK when it comes to these guys. Never, instigate the conversation first. Make them work for your attention, which is usually okay with these ones since they like to be in control. Make sure you let him know you have other options and plans when he asks you out. Let him know you are the jealous type. It's okay to act bored around them at a bar because he will try to do anything to make you happy (buy you drinks). If you are going to a dance or date party, tell him he looks hot (not cute, not handsome, not good. HOT). Bite your lip, make it look like you can't resist him, move toward him and pull yourself back. This sets off a primal switch in their brain that makes them feel wanted and powerful. Once you see him smile, he's yours for the keeping. Now it's your turn to be one step ahead of him. Do not sleep with him. Do not do anything besides make out with him. "Because you really want to respect yourself and you values." The less attainable you are, the more he will want you.
This is all I had so far on this ongoing drama. I will of course update it as we go on, and he continues to play me "behind my back" and as I forgo the proper etiquette of courtship and tease all the boys on this campus like it's going out of style. I don't need a ring yet, I just need a little debauchery...

xoxo Tease

Friday, November 12, 2010

Ring By Spring- you have 6 months- here's how to do it (step 1)

Slampiece here with some advice for you on getting that "Ring by Spring". I'm not saying I have one or will (or even want to) but I know many a senior (and more than a few wily juniors) who are sick of the run around and want the top fratdaddy to be theirs- fb offic and all. Being the resident serial dater, as well as an upperclasswoman, I have amassed a few tricks over the years to help you! This encompasses all areas of being a Sorostitute and will help you with everything- not just finding Mr. Right.
Baking- we say it time and time again, but baking and cooking for frats is really the easiest way into their hearts. Here are a few of my favorite recipes that are sure to win his heart through his stomach. Bringing bakedgoods is a great first impression or icebreaker for the fratdaddy you know, but have nothing to talk about with.
Slampiece's Secret Weapon Cookies
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • 1 1/3 cup all purpose or baking flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup cooking oats (Quaker Oats in a can recommended)
  • 1 cup m&ms in your fratdaddy's colors
  • 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1 fairly beaten egg
  • 1/2 cup butter (melted in the microwave)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla

Mix the dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl, making sure they are thoroughly mixed up. Then add wet ingredients, mixing with large spoon. You will probably want to use your hands to mix it when it starts to get hard to mix with a spoon. 
Roll dough into 1/2 inch balls and place on cookie sheet appoximately 1 inch apart. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes,  put on crystal platter and run them down (warm) to your favorite frat. 
Spicy Hot Chocolate
Finals are around the corner, as is cold weather. Invite your prey (I mean future husband) over for a movie, hot chocolate and snacks as a study break. Tell him your grandma makes the best spicy hot chocolate and you want to make it for him since its so cold out. 
  • 2 cups milk
  • 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate or 4 ounces semisweet chocolate
  • 1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg 

Put all ingredients into saucepan, heat over low setting until chocolate is fully melted. Increase temperature slightly until a boil starts. Remove from heat and whisk for 30 seconds. Return to heat until boiling point and repeat twice. Serve with a dash of cinnamon on top :)
Formals/Date Parties/Semi-Formals
Hopefully one of your chapters still has at least one of these on the books for the semester. The best way to see if you can stand being a couple is the test of a formal. Can you pose for a million pictures together without biting off his head? Can he stand you when you are blackout? Can he dance? Are his freinds awkward around you or do they accept you into the group and vice versa.
First off you have to ask him. It's great if you get the go-ahead from a sister or his brother, but try to do the actual asking yourself. Better yet, con him into asking you
Text/BBMing/Facebook chat is acceptable, however make sure that it is prior to 1am when you do the asking, also confirm by text as soon as possible the next day (after chatting banally about something else first, do not look desperate). If for some reason he declines next day, pretend you were drunk and/or it was one of your sisters. Sorostitutes do not get rejected.
If you have your eye on a date, have your freinds bring all his freinds. This is the easiest way to get a fratdaddy comfortable. Hopefully this doesn't backfire- they could end up ignoring you and pounding shots by themselves all night (should I do a post about last year's formal????)
Hopefully you have a great table, you have fabulous pictures in the slideshow, you take home his tie/bowtie and he takes you home and the relationship is set into motion.

Working out
Personally, I don't do this. I do a little flag-football every once and again for the benefit of the fratdaddy I am impressing but I try not to sully my nike shorts by sweating or engaging in too much activity. 
HOWEVER I realize that many better Sorostitutes than me go to the gym, run around the ocean/lake/fratrow and generally work out more than once a month. This can be an excellent way to get into your fratdaddy's heart. Most girls do anything they can to not have a fratdaddy see them when they are sweaty or working out but that is where you will have the advantage. 
Start a conversation about how you want to do more than just use the elliptical but you don't know how to use the machines (even though you do). 9 times out of 10 this leads to a gym date where he spots you and you look like a super fit, fun girl. 
Make sure your run takes you past his house. Twice. At times he's likely to be coming or going. I'm not going to explain to you how cute you will look jogging by with your iphone or ipod touch in lettered tee's and nike shorts. 
Hopefully this has given you some ideas for how to snag the best fratdaddy you can. If you guys like it, I'll continue the series and if not, too bad I may anyhow ;) (I've had a few cocktails)
XOXOX Slampiece

ps tell me what you want to hear more of next time- part 2 of Ring By Spring

Monday, November 8, 2010

Sorostitute Stories Contest- Your Srattiest Photo

Since we have (thanks to all of you!) over 1000 followers on Twitter as of my check this morning, we are announcing our first ever contest as a thank you!

You will have 2 weeks- until Monday, November 22nd to submit your srattiest photo to us! We want a pic of you at your absolute frattiest, being the best sorostitute you can be! Be creative and have fun!

2 ways to win:
Email submissions:
Send Twitpics on Twitter to: @sorostitutes

The winner of our contest will be able to write a GUEST BLOG post on the site, as well as receive a carefully made picture frame for your winning photo crafted by the Sorostitutes team! (Southern Belle will probably puff-paint you a koozie as well) 

Also- some of our absolute favorite bloggers, the LAX Bro's, have interviewed us for their site! Check it out: 

LYLAS's- Get snapping and sending pics! 

xoxo slampiece

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Personal Opinion on Greek Class Structure...AKA bottom tier=GDI

I was reading our comments just now when I came across another Sorostitute (below) who is bored in class as I am. She is basically asking if being in a bottom tier sorority is like being a GDI...or if you are, in fact, better off as a GDI if you are in one of these houses. Here is her Q and my personal opinion below!

Anonymous said...
A question to ponder while you're bored in class...
we all know that there are levels - good houses, medium houses, baaad houses. Clearly its best to be in a good house, better to be in a medium than none at all BUT
which is better, being in the worst house on campus (the ugly/socially awkward/really just sad girls) or a GDI? And by better, I mean which position is most likely to allow you a) to have some fun b) to find a man and c) to be the least pathetic
I know what I think, but what do 'yall think???

Slampiece Thinks:
Being greek is not just about being popular, It helps to be in one of the best (if not THE best) houses on campus, as we Sorostitutes are, but being greek is about making friends for life, helping others and having a raging good time doing it. Even the socially awkward weirdo houses have frats just like them, and they can socialize and date in those confines. Being a GDI means you will be friends with just anyone, don't care as much about your future and have no goals. When we send girls through recruitment we can usually clearly see which girls will end up where, but what we tell them is true- you WILL end up where you belong. You wouldn't want to be in a top tier house if you were totally a weirdo misfit, you would hate it and never get out of it what others would. Conversely, if you are a nice girl with a good background and good social skills but you are certainly not outstanding in anyway, you will end up in a medium house and chances are you will have the time of your life and not pay too much attention to the fact that everyone else thinks you are mediocre. 

That being said there is nothing like winning every award your entire four years in the chapter, nothing like having fratdaddies clamor to come to your events because they are "THE BEST", nothing like having parties and events every weekend. We all know our freinds at TFM think that if you aren't in the top 1 or 2 houses you might as well just go buy a hackysac and some cargo shorts and become a GDI. BUT the greek system doesn't work if you only have a few houses, those are lame schools in the middle of the country where being greek means absolutely nothing. True thriving greek systems need all the tiers, and if all the girls who got bids at crappy houses fled, then the whole thing folds. 

As tolerant as I may seem, I do really hate when the really lame lower tier fratties I know post TFM's on their facebook, or when lower tier sorostitutes call them selves slampieces. 

THAT, my sisters, is a title you have to earn ;)

I'd rather be tailgating

I'd really rather be painting a cooler or tailgating right now, napping, shopping, crafting or doing really anything else. Alas every once in a while you need to take a trip to the test library and brush up on some class work. For those of you currently also procrastinating on your adorable little Macbook Pro's, here is some Thursday afternoon reading:

Hilarious Haters:
Mason-Dixon War- Sorority Style (Sorostitutes love both South and Northern Sisters xo)
Sorority Girl Problems

Caffeine and Cocktails's mention of us:

You SHOULD coordinate your clothes. You SHOULD make him work for it. You SHOULD make sure that you have a "mom" in your group of friends. You SHOULD NEVER cry whilst drunk.
In Defense of Sorostitutes
Sorority Manifesto- Excerpt:
I am a nice girl. I am the kind of girl you hope you will bring home to Thanksgiving dinner. I care about the elementary education of third world countries, I care about the op-ed in the Sunday New York Times, and my main goal in life is to have an engagement ring bigger than that of any girl I knew in high school.
xoxoxoxo Slampiece

 PS: you already read our loves over at Status Bro'sTFM (or as we like to call it, TSM), and  lax bro's, right? Well, get on that.

PPS: If you are anybody (and even if you are nobody), you should be on twitter. Go visit our Twitter to get hilarious and true Sorostitute Stories in 140 characters or less!