Stories for slampieces

Friday, November 12, 2010

Ring By Spring- you have 6 months- here's how to do it (step 1)

Slampiece here with some advice for you on getting that "Ring by Spring". I'm not saying I have one or will (or even want to) but I know many a senior (and more than a few wily juniors) who are sick of the run around and want the top fratdaddy to be theirs- fb offic and all. Being the resident serial dater, as well as an upperclasswoman, I have amassed a few tricks over the years to help you! This encompasses all areas of being a Sorostitute and will help you with everything- not just finding Mr. Right.
Baking- we say it time and time again, but baking and cooking for frats is really the easiest way into their hearts. Here are a few of my favorite recipes that are sure to win his heart through his stomach. Bringing bakedgoods is a great first impression or icebreaker for the fratdaddy you know, but have nothing to talk about with.
Slampiece's Secret Weapon Cookies
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • 1 1/3 cup all purpose or baking flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup cooking oats (Quaker Oats in a can recommended)
  • 1 cup m&ms in your fratdaddy's colors
  • 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1 fairly beaten egg
  • 1/2 cup butter (melted in the microwave)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla

Mix the dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl, making sure they are thoroughly mixed up. Then add wet ingredients, mixing with large spoon. You will probably want to use your hands to mix it when it starts to get hard to mix with a spoon. 
Roll dough into 1/2 inch balls and place on cookie sheet appoximately 1 inch apart. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes,  put on crystal platter and run them down (warm) to your favorite frat. 
Spicy Hot Chocolate
Finals are around the corner, as is cold weather. Invite your prey (I mean future husband) over for a movie, hot chocolate and snacks as a study break. Tell him your grandma makes the best spicy hot chocolate and you want to make it for him since its so cold out. 
  • 2 cups milk
  • 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate or 4 ounces semisweet chocolate
  • 1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg 

Put all ingredients into saucepan, heat over low setting until chocolate is fully melted. Increase temperature slightly until a boil starts. Remove from heat and whisk for 30 seconds. Return to heat until boiling point and repeat twice. Serve with a dash of cinnamon on top :)
Formals/Date Parties/Semi-Formals
Hopefully one of your chapters still has at least one of these on the books for the semester. The best way to see if you can stand being a couple is the test of a formal. Can you pose for a million pictures together without biting off his head? Can he stand you when you are blackout? Can he dance? Are his freinds awkward around you or do they accept you into the group and vice versa.
First off you have to ask him. It's great if you get the go-ahead from a sister or his brother, but try to do the actual asking yourself. Better yet, con him into asking you
Text/BBMing/Facebook chat is acceptable, however make sure that it is prior to 1am when you do the asking, also confirm by text as soon as possible the next day (after chatting banally about something else first, do not look desperate). If for some reason he declines next day, pretend you were drunk and/or it was one of your sisters. Sorostitutes do not get rejected.
If you have your eye on a date, have your freinds bring all his freinds. This is the easiest way to get a fratdaddy comfortable. Hopefully this doesn't backfire- they could end up ignoring you and pounding shots by themselves all night (should I do a post about last year's formal????)
Hopefully you have a great table, you have fabulous pictures in the slideshow, you take home his tie/bowtie and he takes you home and the relationship is set into motion.

Working out
Personally, I don't do this. I do a little flag-football every once and again for the benefit of the fratdaddy I am impressing but I try not to sully my nike shorts by sweating or engaging in too much activity. 
HOWEVER I realize that many better Sorostitutes than me go to the gym, run around the ocean/lake/fratrow and generally work out more than once a month. This can be an excellent way to get into your fratdaddy's heart. Most girls do anything they can to not have a fratdaddy see them when they are sweaty or working out but that is where you will have the advantage. 
Start a conversation about how you want to do more than just use the elliptical but you don't know how to use the machines (even though you do). 9 times out of 10 this leads to a gym date where he spots you and you look like a super fit, fun girl. 
Make sure your run takes you past his house. Twice. At times he's likely to be coming or going. I'm not going to explain to you how cute you will look jogging by with your iphone or ipod touch in lettered tee's and nike shorts. 
Hopefully this has given you some ideas for how to snag the best fratdaddy you can. If you guys like it, I'll continue the series and if not, too bad I may anyhow ;) (I've had a few cocktails)
XOXOX Slampiece

ps tell me what you want to hear more of next time- part 2 of Ring By Spring


  1. Not that I need advice (I have my ring BEFORE spring) but most people need advice about how to take it from flirty dates to serious proposal material (and how to impress the future mother-in-law)

  2. I was going to do those next ;) especially with holidays coming up

  3. Thanks for the recipes! I always need new cookie ideas :)--they're the easiest way to impress my fratdaddy!

  4. please please do something on meeting the parents by next saturday! im going to fratdaddy's mom's birthday dinner and i havnt met them yet! what do i bring? is it appropriate to bring wine if I'm not 21?

  5. I think there might need to be three or four parts to ring by spring! I also think there needs to be a bedroom post. I mean not to be vulgar but some of us younger sorostitutes haven't totally developed a sexpertoire yet!

  6. It would be nice to have a list of do's and don't. Such as do you sleep with him before there is a title on the relationship? Are you allowed to flirt with other fratstars when in his presence? What makes it apparent to them that you're more than just a slampiece?

  7. I can't wait for the next part in this series!

  8. Definitely would love a post about meeting his parents & a bedroom behavior post! This was great!

  9. Also I would love a small mention in a post about what being "lavaliered" as opposed to being "pinned" means. I know it means different things, obvi, but no one's been able to explain to me what exactly those differences are.

    And also as a girl who is going to be lavaliered soon, hopefully, do you wear them along with your sorority lavalier? Or do you replace it with his lavalier?

    Thanks! axoxo

  10. LOVE this post!! Can't wait for the rest!

  11. this post is adorable! the cookie recipe is to DIE for. my fratdaddy loved them!

  12. just made the hot cocoa, damn am i gonna be a wonderful wife ;)

  13. i really like baking for my boy but i'm a lil worried about mine getting fat is that bad?

  14. Thank you for the recipes! I'm going to try them today!

  15. Please do something on the perfect christmas gift to make your fratdaddy think of you as engagement material! Love the cookie recipe!