Stories for slampieces

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Avoiding the Awkward Slampiece

So you did the unthinkable? You hooked up with a GDI, a good friend, or a random, and now you have to see him walking around and going to class (when you actually attend). How must a good tease avoid such interactions while maintaining her reputation on campus?

Unfortunately, I have drunkenly dabbled in GDIs more then once. I seem not only to lose my balance, my phone, and shoes when I drink, but I also lose my standards. As if having to live with your poor life decisions isn’t bad enough, now your sisters are going to find out. You may never live this down. Or it may fade into the makeout oblivion. Here are a few tips I have gathered from my awkward encounters:

· Consider changing your route to class if you run into him. It may seem silly but not having that awkward stare down is worth it.

· Have a class together? Leave it to the head-nod/smile for the first couple weeks (if he initiates the head-nod of course) after the hookup. It will eventually fade into stranger status, which is good.

· If you are with your sisters, in a group, or even with one other girl- make no recognition of his existence.

· At a bar or party, do not be tempted by the sweet confidence brought on by booze. This is dangerous territory because you may want to go up and say hi, or try to make out with him again. Chances are you do not want anyone to know you fell into the deep abyss which is repeating your mistakes, so try and distract yourself with your friends, making friends with the bartender, or an new man—all at arms length.

· If you are friends with the guy, this is very simple. You just pretend nothing ever happened. Deny. Deny. Deny.

· Sunglasses!! BIG BEAUTFUL SHADES= NO EYE CONTACT. Look good and keep your DIGNITY.

It’s nothing to be embarrassed about when you run into the awkward slampiece. As a matter of fact, as long as you pretend it doesn’t bother you, there is really no loss. Needless to say, the BEST way to avoid an awkward slampiece is to make good choices before anything can get awkward. But, who are we kidding, that’s never on the agenda ;)