Single doesn't mean I'm lookin for somebody

Lately I've grown disappointed in my men...not that they've been slacking, but that they've been soft. To quote Sam Adams...and my now fav Fratmusic.com playlist: Single doesn't Mean I'm lookin for somebody.

1) A hookup doesn't mean we need to date

a) I need to do a proper background check before agreeing to see you again

b) My girls need to give approval before I make any decisions

c) Don't suffocate me...if I say I'll see you when I see you, I mean I'm not interested

d) Gain some self respect that if I'm not responding to you...STOP TEXTING

2) Yes I know you talk, but come on your best friend's brother's cousin's boss doesn't need to know that we texted last Saturday...you just seem pathetic.

3) To reference Tease...if there is no chase I will not remotely be interested.

4) I'm young...just like you fratdaddies I need to toy with my options. There exist exceptions to this rule, but mostly I just wanna keep you around to maintain good chapter relations

5) Its not awkward unless you make it awkward...we're big kids, we've done this before no need to act like its 5th grade and we're each other's first kiss.

All I'm asking for is the Knight in shining frat-tee. To come sweep me off my feet at a bar one night, buy me and my girls a round (then a few more for me), hookup, text occasionally to see my plans, "run into me" at the bar again, and repeat this process till I deem you worthy of me.