Stories for slampieces

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Proper Diet and Exercise...aka Natty, Addy and Nike

A post on one of my favorite sites, TFM today:

Reminded me of a certain sorority on campus. They get gorgeous girls just like we do, but in a very certain mold. Having a very easily identified type of girl is helpful to these chapters...until the fake IDs and nights out, as well as over-slamming get to them. By the time they hit the end of junior year they shit. And then people know them as 1/2 pretty and 1/2...."sweet". (Ask Southern Belle what calling someone 'darling' or 'sweet' means).

How do you avoid this? Diet. Exercise. 
(Fortunately this Slampiece doesn't need to do either, but you do.)

I don't know why you would let anyone ever see you eat (Tease hasn't been seen eating since 2007). BUT if you must, here is your shopping list:

  • Diet Coke
  • Evian Water (Fiji is for GDI's)
  • Addy (Adderal)- OK you don't buy this, you get an RX but its just as necessary. 
  • 100 calorie packs 
  • Celery
  • Baking Supplies-so you can bake and maintain Frat Relations
  • Drunk food for Functional Alc and/or your Frat Daddy (lock this up during the week- no temptations!)
  • Whipped Cream

Done. That's it. If you go on a date that can be your meal/carbs for the week because what Fratty wants you to waste his money? Oh, right, all of them. 


  • Wear Nike running shorts and date party tee's as often as possible- at least you look like you are fit
  • Make a point to wear block letters to the gym. Especially since then only greek's will be allowed to speak to you
  • Bring a Cosmo, Vogue, or Southern Living and jump on the elliptical. Don't get off until you're so tired you think that leggings as pants sound as cute the article says they do.
  • Slamming, duh. Just an hour of hooking up can burn almost 100 cal's! No excuses now ;)
  • If you don't fit into your XS bid day shirt, whip out the Amex Black card and buy yourself a personal trainer to yell at you until you do.

Do what you must but avoid the Freshman 15 at all costs. 
No excuses- Srat like a champion.

Until next time, 


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