Stories for slampieces

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Bracelets are like Boys

I am losing my teasing touch. Maybe it’s the lack of booze or maybe it is the fact that I found a boy who dresses, acts, and slams perfectly. He is classy, douchy, fratty, and walks around like he owns this campus. And I may be having feelings. I know I vommed, too. (Well, that may have been intentional…). I just don’t understand it. I can’t talk to him, look at him, or walk near him because he is emanates frat essence. He doesn’t even wear jeans because they are for GDIs.

Evidently, it is a matter of Yurman vs. Swarovski when it comes to a tease choosing a boyfriend/monogamy over the chasing/leaving lifestyle. Like Yurman, boyfriends take care, research, and dedication. Once you buy that cable wire bracelet, you’ve invested $2,200 in a piece you hope will not go out of style-- more or less look anything less than perfect at all times. Boyfriends and crushes must always look, act, and attend perfectly. Swarovski is casual wear. There is insignificant investment and it can be purchased on impulse using your Black Amex. Chasing and leaving boys is just as impulsive as swiping for those crystals. Little is lost and little is gained; yet, all are relatively fun and good-looking.

So, here is to investing, taking a chance, wishing for the best, and hoping that cable bracelet dangles on my wrist in the most perfect of fashions. Until the next slampiece comes around I am taking a break and setting goals. Higher standards always begin here.

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