Stories for slampieces

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Post NYE

I suppose it is time for that after NYE post. And I suppose that you expect that it was a fabulous time of drunken debauchery illustrated by classy parties, chivalrous men, and fine liquor. Well, it wasn’t. As a matter of fact, my NYE was one hot mess. I guess the only place to start is from the beginning:

I arrived at my destination (campus) around 3PM. Ho-mance and I went shopping for last minute outfits at the local mall. It was a madhouse and full of geeds, so we simply had to pick something quickly and get to the important destination- the liquor store. Seeing that she is underage, I sent little Ho-mance to pick up some mixers while I grabbed a bottle of Grey Goose (I mean it was a holiday we needed to be fancy) and 8 bottles of Andre (to negate all class that ensued with the vodka). Surely, it was going to be a rough night.

We threw a fantastic dinner party with the boys and had a spectacular toast. It was time to move to the second party of the evening- the kegger. Nothing out of the ordinary happened besides drunken babble, flirting, party hats, those noisemaker things, beer pong, and pic taking. The third party was a block away and everyone was in the mood to count down the New Year. As girls scrambled around to find their midnight kiss, I sat in the corner with my personal bottle of champagne and guzzled while Ho-mance made out with my good friend. I wasn’t having the random make out tonight because I was being a pretentious bitch.

We moved back to the guys’ house and generally debauchery played out. As we made our way back home, I got a little sad that all my friends were out and about having sex with boyfriends/crushes/one-night-stands and I just wanted to put on my jammies and go to bed. I was spent.

I got a text around 2:36 AM from a guy from my past. And I caved. There is no explanation for why I did. We have been hooking up on and off for the past year and a half, and have sacrificed what used to be a great friendship for effortlessly hooking up. He is THAT exception to the rule. So he came over. He walked in and we quickly said hi as we bolted upstairs to my room. No other words were exchanged before we heavily started making out. Which was all that happened. Really hot, I know. As I faded into a slumber, he went home (apparently he had friends visiting from out of town and left them to be with me).

Between the drunk and the sleeping I managed to take my clothes off to be comfortable. Around 6:30 AM Ho-mance stumbled into my unlocked apartment into my room from her walk of shame. She was “ready for our slumber party!!” I warned her of my nakedness and she passed out without any recognition of my no clothes state. At 9:30 AM I heard the “OH FUCKK WHERE AM I?” coming from my little sister. I told her to shutup and get me a tshirt (she grabbed the Derby Days). We headed to McDonalds to cure our massive headaches and nursed our hangovers all day watching the Bravo network.

So there it was. Drunk, classless, messy, silly. Not necessarily the NYE I imagined, but nonetheless at least I did not blackout? I suppose I couldn't have expected much... after all, I AM a sorostitute.

xoxo Tease


  1. I think you did all right for yourself! Mine went down almost exactly the same. :)

  2. Ugh. Me too. I blacked out hardcore, but managed to make it past midnight and thankfully past my boyfriend confessing his intention to marry me. Either way, I ended up losing my camera and a lot of dignity.

    Anyone have ideas for cute, semi indestructible cameras small enough to fit in my hobo clutch?

  3. thank god for starting your period after new years eve bad decisions

  4. Try a crushproof/waterproof Olympus Stylus Tough. They're great for bars/philanthropy events/tailgates/the beach/Spring Break. I've dropped mine in a glass of Jack and Coke and it was alright the next day. Perfect for the sorority girl on the go.


    You'll love it when it's launched SratStars

  6. I think we need a spring break guide - especially clothes!

  7. Agreed for spring-break guide! Also, yall havent updated in a while. I understand we can all get busy with school, etc. but its been over 2 weeks. Whats the deal?

  8. NEW POST PLEEEEEEASE. Spring break guide for sure.