1st Ever Sorostitute Contest

Every true Sorostitute knows you can't get something for nothing, so our first ever Sorostitute Stories Contest will be starting as soon as we have 1,000 followers on twitter! The contest will be cute and funny, and all our readers and followers will be able partake in enjoying all submissions. The contest will be announced when we get to 1000 followers and as of this moment, we have 720 followers, so get RTing and following, loves! 

Follow the Sisters here: http://twitter.com/#!/Sorostitutes


Oh! I forgot to add that the prize will be in true Sorostitute Story fashion, also announced when we hit 1,000 followers on twitter! 



xoxo stay sratty and frat hard

American Sweethearts

As you know, today is an important election day. As Americans, it is our right and duty to vote for the middle-age upper-class white males that our daddies tell us to vote for, for the sake of our taxes and our rights, of course. Okay, I kid...

In all seriousness, however, it is also important to remind our lovely Sorostitutes that being an American Sweetheart is what we are born and raised to do. NOBODY bakes a peach cobbler as tasty, drives a truck on the ranch as adorably, wears cowgirl hat and boots as precisely, lavishes in Lilly Pulitzer as obsessively, and drives the boys as crazy as WE do. Sorostitutes are the epitome and paradigm of American girls.

Yes, being a Sorostitute means being debaucherous and outrageous, but it also means living up to the ideals of the fraternity and being your absolute best, carrying yourself with the dignity and grace that women before you saw in yourself enough to extend you a bid. We may be "Greek" on the outside, but these values are inherently American.

Ladies and gents, be sure to go out and vote today, and put into actions these values. Besides, you really don't want those GDIs to rule the polls do you? ;)

xoxo

Our Featured Guide to Bros

Hey y'all,

Welcome to all of our new readers!! We were recently featured on StatusBro.com in a BROg post called "A Girl's Guide to Bros." Check it out!
http://www.statusbro.com/content/sorostitute-stories-girls-guide-bros

xoxo sorostitutes

The essentials that every sorostitute needs in her closet

One of our loyal followers asked for a post about the essentials for every Sorostitutes closet, so here is a post for Holly on what is in the walk in of our Srat castle.


There are four main components of a Sorostitute's closet: weekday, formal, country club/date/home, and theme.


Weekday- This is your wardrobe for class, running errands and baking 

• Nike shorts, Frat Tee (stolen from a current or former fratdaddy), sorority tee from date party, rush or greek week, nikes matching your shorts, rainbow flip flops or letter flip flops 
• Sperry's, Jcrew oversized cardi, and designer jeans of choice (esp if you have an advising meeting)
• Black Yoga Pants, UGGs and a Northface for winter-don't forget the oversized sunglasses and white v-neck, coastie!

Formal

• For overnight fraternity formals- long, formal dress that no one has worn before and you can make sure that no one will have. Bring lots of matching lingerie and extra jewelery, as well as all your best lily dresses and matching lettered sweats for laying around post hookup/hangover
• A reader commented asking for new and fresh ideas for her fratdaddy's formal giftbasket (besides cooler, etc). How about matching koozies for the two of you? or matching gameday buttons? anything matchy is right up my alley, however any post-game hangover remedies are always appreciated 

Home/Country Club

• When in doubt, think of that poor, martyred pi phi rush chair who sent out that absolute BIBLE of an email to her chapter. (I won't link because if you haven't read it you are a GDI who hasn't had internet access in 18 months) 
• Tory flats, Jack Rogers, Sundresses in summer and cashmere in fall. Think Jcrew, Vinyard Vines, Polo tennis dresses, lacoste and Sperry's for the yacht (or all the time, right Southern Belle?)
• Family Time is NEVER wasted- Match your purse to Mommy Dearest and you are sure to get an extra allowance next month in the bank acct, wear the Yurman or Tiffany studs your Gram gave you for your birthday and expect another well-earned present for thanksgiving! 
• Sample- Home for a long weekend in Fall: 
• Friday- "traveling" outfit- belted oversized cashmere sweater, Tory flats and dark skinnys with an oversized longchamp. 
• Saturday at the hunting house waiting for daddy and fratdaddy- Patagonia, Jcrew cords, uggs and a matching VV headband
• Sunday brunch- lilly dress with shrug, Jack Rodgers flats (or sandals if you live below the Mason-Dixon)

Theme Party Wardrobe

• Theme parties are my absolute favorite. I would turn down the governors ball for a good theme party. ABC, toga, neon, The Letter _, anything except redneck/GDI themed parties and I am there. Over my years in the Srat, I have amassed a great collection of random costumes- and I suggest you and your girls start immediately.
• Neon American Apparel Leggings in at least 3 colors
• oversized vnecks and tights in matching colors
• Glitter
• Ties- not ugly rejects 
• Cute RLPolo patterened twin sheets in matching themes (toga) 
• Caution Tape (ABC)
• Old Prom Dresses and Formal Dresses
• Pirate hat, sailor hat, nurse hat, trucker hat, cowboy hat
• Do you know how to make a tshirt dress with an xxl tee?
• colored hair spray
• flesh colored leotard
• cat ears, devil horns, halo and wings
• boarding school/prep school/catholic school uniform 
• cute wedding-looking dress
• golf clothes 
• trashy club clothes (eurotrash)
• beret (tour de franzia)
• Ugly Christmas Sweater
• Any holiday themed Claire's headband, bows, etc

Here are the basics of a Sratty wardrobe, as compiled by Slampiece during a boring lecture. Comment with suggestions, things I missed, etc . 
xoxo

Costume Confessions

I’m not proud of what I am about to say. I just want to precede this by the fact that my friends made me do this and I can’t help that I am genetically predisposed to be short. I am going to be Snooki for Halloween this year. I know, I should have warned you, and I know this is seriously offensive to anyone in Greek life. I just couldn’t resist trying to see what being a drunken GDI was like. Mind you, I know it will probably feel the same and being a sloshed sorostitutes, but that is beside the point.

I am staring at my costume right now. The glittery sunglasses are nearly blinding. The cheap polyester dress makes my skin cry. And don’t even get me started on the jewelry—never have I been so ashamed to wear a cross necklace (sorry, Jesus).

I just needed to blog out my feelings. I fully anticipate to not “get it in” or “smush” any respectable fratstar tonight. As a matter of fact I have taken a vow to go home alone.

I am asking you, my Greek brothers and sisters, those who are also going to experience this GuiDI, GDI, whatever the hell you want to call it thing this Halloween to keep each other in our thoughts. We may need all the help we can get... well actually we don’t need THAT much help, I mean we are still fratastic. So, stay safe, stay frat, and don’t compromise your dignity too much this holiday!!

Xoxo Tease

Halloween- a Debaucherous Guide for Sorostitutes

Halloween is just around the corner, and you know what that means! Every Sratter’s favorite holiday (no, not Christmas, you should be getting presents all the time) AND the most stressful. What will you be? What frat party are you gracing with your presence? What bar will you be weaving your way to after said party?

Here is a helpful guide to lessen the stress on this most debaucherous of occasions:

Freshman and Sophomores:

            Group costumes of 3 or more are acceptable at this age. The sluttier you are, the better your chances of being picked out of a group, because lets face it, when there are 12 of your pledge class all dressed as Natty Ice cans, you are all going to look exactly the same to drunk Fratdaddies, so you must make yourself stand out. It is unacceptable to wear a group costume someone in your sorority or another top tier sorority did last year, possibly even the year before depending on how catty your school is (ask the older girls). Better than 20 people wearing the exact same thing is doing a theme. You all dress as a theme but have different costumes. Makes for adorable pics.

            Also at this stage of your sorority career you can wear one of those cheap store bought sexy costumes that make you look like you walked out of the closet of a stripper. After sophomore year its so déclassé and also makes you look desperate. I am not innocent here, I have MANY of these bar maid, little bo-peep and slutty cop outfits in my closet.

Juniors and Seniors:

            Do group costumes if you must, but only with up to 3 of your closest sisters. AT this age you are required at least one frat lap for your younger girls sake as well as to nab your frat daddy for the evening.

            Since you are socially obligated to go out Thursday, Friday and Saturday this Halloween, you need at least 3 costumes. I have four- one outfit change where my hair and makeup can stay the same for frat party AND the bar. For seniors, this is pretty much the last time you can dress outrageously, because let’s face it, once you get your MRS you are expected to act like one.

            Costumes at this age must be sexy but not too showy- as upperclasswomen you need to set a classy example for your younger girls. Always show what god and the doctor gave you but ALL of it. Clever costumes are great for junior and senior year, including current events and pop culture. Make sure what you are dressing up as is relevant to pop culture and will still be funny or cute in 2 years.

            Honestly the best costume at this age is a couples costume with your frat daddy. Nothing says “He’s mine, he does what I want, and I’ll have a ring by spring” than pebbles and bam-bam or a key and a lock!

Don’t stress, don’t let anyone but your older Sorostitutes tell you what to be, don’t costumes repeat, stay at your school (or you’ll miss out on the rest of the semester’s gossip), don’t drink fourloko and have fun ;)

*Halloween Profile pictures, no matter how hot, have an expiration date. Let’s say 2 weeks, give or take what other events you have coming up after the holiday.

           

Be classy, stay Sratty, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t admit to doing!

Caught In a Bad Ho-Mance

When joining a sorority, not only do you bind yourself to a lifetime of sisterhood, but once you’ve become initiated, you finally earned the ultimate title of a Sorostitute. It’s every girl’s dream since childhood, growing up and trying on your mother’s heels and pearls. Once officially in the chapter you gain dozens upon dozens of sisters, and then there are particular ones you really get close with. They become your best friends; the kind who bring out the best in you and can’t live without. They’re like adderall, you need them in your life to survive college. They are your soul mates. The ones who will stand up at your wedding.

Now it came across my attention that I couldn’t put a label on this relationship. There is a label for mostly all relationships that comes to mind, but this intense kind of friendship is lacking such. So I brought it upon myself to discover what this exclusive label should be. After several glasses of wine, I began my approach. I thought of numerous possibilities such as girlfriends – sounds like the perfect label for GDIs, girl-on-girl – trashy, porno, not classy enough for our standards, and girl-mates – that just sounds dumb. This was harder than I expected (that’s what she said).

I felt like I needed to dig deeper, so I decided to pour another glass of wine and really submerge myself into this challenge. It hit me, the buzz yes, but also a light bulb went off in my head. I need to think WWBD. What Would Bros Do? That’s it! I need to explore all that encompasses none other than a BROMANCE. The term bromance describes the unconditional love between two or more straight men. Bros do everything together. They shop, eat, and drink. They give you their honest opinions if the color your polo doesn’t coordinate with the color Sperry’s you have on. They’re your wingman who helps you hand out one-way tickets to the pound town express when out looking for slampieces. Sorostitutes pretty much do the same just in the opposite form.

So you may be wondering where in all of my explorations I found the perfect sorostitute label on best friends. While I was breaking down the structure of a bromance, coincidentally the mind-blowing song, Bad Romance, by Lady GaGa began to play. By this point I consumed an entire bottle of wine, but I believe it only helped me solve the answer to my dilemma. The song is just too infectious, you can’t help but sing every lyric. The chorus came about, and it was like an epiphany

Oh, caught in a bad romance.
Oh, caught in a bad bromance.
Oh, caught in a bad HO-mance!

It all just happened. It was unexpected. A Ho-mance is what I shall call it. Therefore, a ho-mance describes the unconditional love between two or more straight women; Sorostitutes to be more specific. They do everything together. They shop, skip meals, and drink together. They will save you from any fratdaddy unworthy of your time. They jump on grenades for you. They’re the ones who will be there at the end of the night to hold your hair back while praying to the porcelain Jesus. They will encourage you to make good decisions, and watch your belligerent self make bad ones. They will pick you up in the morning from a fraternity house you spent the night shacking up in with some fratdaddy just so you won’t have to do the walk of shame. Most importantly they will always be there for you no matter what.

So cheers to white wine and bros all across the nation, and a very special thanks to Lady GaGa.